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evil_leprachaun
- August 19th, 2007
I can feel summer dwindling down to those last few sad weeks already. While I don't want this amazing summer to end, I think if it did...I would be ok. Right now I just have an overwhelming sense of calmness and can't help but think that everything will be ok. I don't have great grades or know what I want to do. I don't have a job or even a license. But I do have a great family, amazing friends and a loving boyfriend. I have hope, I have a future. And although I am scared, it's the strange kind of scared that is mixed with excitement. Everyone I know has changed so much and it really is beautiful if you stop to look. Even if I live on the streets for the rest of my life, I would be ok because I know I have been a positive part of a person's life. Even if I live in a shitty apartment and we all part when we go to college...I feel that we can stick together. This entire summer I have been so worried about losing everyone after high school. But I could never really lose any of them. Everyone I have ever known is a part of me, and I am a part of them. Every single person I have met I will take with me for the rest of my life and I feel good about that.
Tonight when I was sprawled out on blankets covering the grass with my closest friends and stared up at the pitiful amount of stars in the sky and Jessica wondered out loud if stars can watch us and everyone sang silly songs together and run on sentances like this one filled my head, everything was suddenly ok.
When I curled up next to mike in my bed for a cuddle and tried to tell him how much I loved him and could not explain, I realized even if we aren't together forever as a couple, we will always be friends.
When I stop to see how everyone has grown I almost break down and cry because I am so proud of each and every person I have met in my life so far. I know they can all accomplish great things and I can't wait to help my friends through the hard times and smile with them through the fun times.
When I sit down to dinner with my family a sense of safety and warmth so strong fills me and I have no worries. Looking at my sisters and seeing them so grown up but still with so much to learn shows me how time can change everything but yet it still stays the same. seeing my parents still laughing together and saying "love ya babe" and snuggling on the couch shows me that good things do last, and that you can always count on family.
I really think...
that I'm ready for this.
While other people feel a change in the temperature and possibly a sense of dread that comes with the end of summer...I seem to just be feeling possibilities.
We can do it guys.
Let's show them what we're made of.